Paps Papwell’s Three-Dot Hot Takes: 2018 NBA Playoffs Edition

So the NBA’s interminable regular season has finally wound to a close, and now we can get down to some serious basketball. And not a minute too soon! I’m not sure the nation could survive the excitement of this year’s tankathon for another moment. Who can play crappier, the Suns or the Magic? Which hot shooter will the Mavs bench at halftime? Someone needs to fix the draft system soon, some of these teams haven’t been trying since December. . . Anyway, with that unpleasantness behind us, we can look forward to a couple of months of great hoops, since this year’s playoffs certainly seem more wide open than in the past few seasons. We’ll see. Here are my fearless predictions for this year’s slugfest. . . Let’s start in the West. The Rockets have been playing incredible basketball all season, and they should get past the young T-wolves squad without too much trouble. I’d like to see KAT have a few big games, at least. Rockets, 4-1. . . The Jazz play great D, and Carmelo’s not half the player he used to be. Despite some great displays from Russell Westbrook, I’m picking the Jazz in 6. . . The Blazers/Pelicans match-up should be a fun one. The Pelicans have been playing shockingly well since Boogie’s injury, with Anthony Davis somehow finding another level to climb to. I think their surge will continue, and they overwhelm the Blazers 4-1. . . The final first round match-up pairs the defending champion Warriors against the Spurs. San Antonio limped into the playoffs and don’t look to put up much of a fight. Even without Steph, Warriors 4-1. . . The second round would then find the Rockets meeting the Jazz. While the Jazz are just fine, they’re nowhere near good enough to beat this Rockets squad more than once. 4-1 Rockets. . . A Warriors/Pelicans series will make for some fun, fast-paced hoops, but I don’t think that New Orleans is going to be much trouble for this seasoned Dubs squad. Steph eases his way back into the lineup (they hope), and the Warriors cruise 4-1. . . Which should bring us to a spectacular series between Houston and Golden State. The Rockets have been playing much better and more consistent basketball all season long, but the Warriors would still come into this as the favorites. The Rockets will jump out to a lead in the series, but somewhere around game 5 or 6, the annual Chris Paul Playoff Injury will occur. That’s when the wheels will come off for the Rockets. Without CP3, everything will get a bit more rushed and panicky, the Rockets’ three will stop dropping, and the Warriors will squeak it out in game 7. Sad but true. . . Alright, on to the East, where the top-seeded Raptors inspire great confidence in absolutely no one. They’ve had so many notable playoff collapses that it’s become a habit to write them off. Anyway, they should cruise past an overmatched and overrated Wizards squad in a sweep. . . Other than LeBron, who’s somehow having one of his best seasons, the Cavs suck. The fact that they’re a four seed is a testament only to his personal greatness, but that should be just enough to get by the Pacers. Won’t be as easy as in past seasons, though; let’s say 4-3 Cavs. . . The Sixers are young, fun, and seem to have arrived a few years ahead of schedule. Trust the Process, indeed. They also have a pretty easy path to the conference finals, starting with this match-up against an overachieving Heat squad. Can’t see Miami winning more than one, even if Embiid is out the whole time. 4-1, Sixers. . . Rarely has a two seed been quite so unconvincing, and the banged-up Celtics will struggle against the Bucks. Still, in the end, Brad Stevens is already one of the league’s great coaches, and I think he gets the Celtics into the second round. Let’s say 4-3 Celtics.. . . The second round would then pit the Raptors against the Cavs in a series that has headline writers typing “Raptors Choke Again” already. Go ahead and print those headlines, because the Raptors are set to choke again in a big way. LeBron tears their hearts out again, and the Cavs will surprisingly sweep the chumps from Toronto. . . According to me, the Sixers would be meeting the Celtics in the second round. I see a determined Celtics squad figuring out how to keep Ben Simmons from driving the lane, and despite a great series from Embiid, I think the 76ers will make just enough youthful mistakes to lose the series 4-1 . . . That would make for a Cavs/Celtics conference finals for the second year in a row, something I doubt anyone will get too excited about. The scrappy Celtics will give the rejuvenated Cavs some trouble, but in the end LeBron’s greatness will be too much for them. Let’s say 4-3 Cavs. . . Which would set up yet another Warriors/Cavs NBA Finals. We’ve been here before, but this time I think the Cavs are actually a bit worse than in previous seasons. I would say that the Cavs might steal a game, but some knucklehead like J.R. Smith will probably make some bonehead error that costs them the chance. I see the Warriors taking it in an increasingly dull 4-0 sweep. You heard it here first.