With the new year, my plan was to inaugurate a new feature called My Movie Diary, in which I would end each month with quick capsule reviews of all the movies I saw during those four weeks. Little did I suspect that I’d watch so many movies in January! As such, I’m dividing up my month’s reviews into a few parts. When a movie title is followed by an (r), that means it’s a movie I’d already seen before. The R is for Repeat Viewing! With that business out of the way, here are the flicks I saw during the first two weeks of 2018:
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) (r) – I started the year with a New Year’s Day afternoon screening of this righteous flick with my 12-year-old son. I hadn’t seen it for quite a few years, and was pleasantly surprised with how well it held up. I mean, it’s 80s to the bone, and the soundtrack of dubious fake hair metal is even more atrocious at this remove. But the dimwit-based humor is the kind that never really gets old. Watching the two San Dimas dullards stumble their way through history has its undeniable charms, and Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter turn in some of the most impressively clueless performances in film history. So much so, in fact, that for lots of people their instinctive image of Reeves is still as wide-eyed goofball “Ted” Theodore Logan, despite twenty-five years of hit flicks since Bill & Ted’s 1989 release. One thing I’ve always appreciated about the flick is its creative use of the time travel conceit. The fact that the time keeps going in “present-day” San Dimas doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it does provide a reason that the guys can’t just keep jumping through time grabbing historical figures forever. It also figures into a good gag where Ted reminds himself to wind his watch, but never actually does. The climax of the film features some great tongue-in-cheek use of the time travel idea, as the guys keep reminding themselves to travel through time later on to set up their escape plan. “I guess I really did steal my dad’s keys!” All in all, Bill & Ted’s was pretty much just as I remembered it: a goofy, fun way to spend and hour and a half while learning some very sketchy notions about world history. Party on, dudes!
The Fast and the Furious (2001) (r) – I’m a huge fan of this series, and seeing the first one sitting there on HBOGO was too much to resist. I hadn’t seen the original flick in quite a while, and was a little surprised at how many of the series’ tropes were already in place from the beginning. The “family” aspect is already hammered at, with the first of the requisite meals featuring all the players. It also plays into the finale of the flick, where Paul Walker’s conflicted undercover cop is confronted with this line from his superior: “There’s all kinds of family, Brian, and that’s a choice you’re gonna have to make.” That line kind of underlines the entire 8-film series, and I found it interesting that it’s laid out so clearly in the very first film.
One thing I noticed this time is how significant it is that Brian isn’t shown to be an undercover cop until the movie’s well underway. The film understands the appeal of the outlaw, and lets us get to know Brian on that level for a full 40 minutes before the reveal that he’s actually a cop. You identify with Brian as an outlaw racer long before you learn he’s the police, so you kind of end up seeing him that way throughout. It’s also easy to see why this flick was such a hit in the first place. It arrived in theaters at a time when CGI had all but completely taken over the action-film arena. Fast and the Furious bucked that trend by delivering incredible action scenes full of practical stuntwork. You can tell that’s really a person hanging off that semi, which gives the action scenes much more of a visceral edge. The flick’s pacing down the stretch is impeccable, as well. It goes straight from the (really unfortunately named) Race Wars drag racing scene to a crazy semi-truck hijacking-gone-wrong into a drive-by shooting into another wild motorcycle-and-car chase. Even if it hadn’t spawned one of the greatest action franchises of all time, The Fast and the Furious would still hold a place among the best car chase flicks ever.
Non-Stop (2014) – Another of Liam Neeson’s late-career ass-kickers, this is actually a pretty decent little thriller. Almost the entire film takes place on-board a transcontinental flight on which Neeson’s character is serving as air marshal. Once in the air, he starts getting text messages threatening to kill one passenger every twenty minutes unless $150 million is paid to an off-shore account. The twists and turns keep on coming as it becomes clear that the terrorist is setting up Neeson to take the fall. It’s a tense, claustrophobic flick that does really well establishing Neeson’s angst and frustration at not being able to figure things out. The filmmakers do a good job of leaving a trail of red herrings among the passengers, although when the villains are finally revealed, their motivations and ability to do any of these things are seriously suspect. So while the ending might not make a whole lot of sense, the preceding ninety minutes are strong enough to help you shrug it all off. Why Julianne Moore is in this, I have no idea. Oh wait, she got a big paycheck. Now it all makes sense.
Crank: High Voltage (2009) (r) – The very definition of mindless entertainment, I watched this one late at night when I didn’t want to do a lot of thinking. Or any. This sequel to the slam-bang original finds Jason Statham in an even more precarious situation: someone’s stolen his heart. It’s been taken by a gang of nefarious organ thieves and replaced with an artificial heart that runs on electricity. The idea is that they’re going to farm Statham’s organs, an idea that ends poorly when he beats the hell out of everyone in the operating room and escapes. He then goes on a quest to find his real heart, a quest made all the harder by the fact that his electric heart’s power keeps running down. He has to keep juicing himself up by hooking himself up to jumper cables, licking electric wires, etc. As with the original, the whole thing’s deeply, deeply silly, but it does provide a venue for some frenetic action scenes. The film plays as a satire on big-budget action flicks as Statham turns the “ham” up to eleven. That said, it would be a lot more fun if the film didn’t engage in such casual racism and sexism, including featuring a supposedly funny Asian prostitute (Bai Ling) whose every appearance inspires cringes. At least there’s not a rape scene that’s played for laughs, like in the original. If you can get past the noxious stereotyping there’s some okay stuff to be found here.
Doctor Strange (2016) – Another superhero origin story from the fine folks at Marvel, Doctor Strange manages to set itself apart from the rest through some imaginative and eye-popping special effects. These days, it’s possible to depict literally anything on-screen, but it’s increasingly rare to see CGI used in original ways. Doctor Strange’s escapades through the astral plane are shown as a kaliedoscopic dreamworld unlike anything I’ve seen. The film follows Strange as he makes the transition from uber-arrogant neurosurgeon to humble superhero and is anchored by a solid performance by Benedict Cumberbatch. He plays the role with just the right balance of seriousness and tongue-in-cheek sass. The flick moves along at a good pace and is fun to watch throughout, even though you pretty much know where it’s going from the start. I am a little confused as to the reasoning behind white-washing the character of The Ancient One, the spiritual guru who helps Strange channel his powers. The character is an Asian man in the comics, and I can’t see that anything was gained by reimagining him as a Celtic woman. Well, it does give Tilda Swinton a rare chance to kick ass, but making the character a Celt really doesn’t make a lot of sense in the context of the film. Anyway, my son liked it and that’s good enough for me.
Killzone 2 (2015) – One of those patented Asian action-flick sequels that has no relationship with the original, Killzone 2 is an intense and largely successful showcase for Muay Thai asskicker Tony Jaa. He plays a prison guard whose leukemia-stricken daughter desperately needs a bone marrow transplant. She has a very rare blood type and the hospital can find only one suitable donor in the whole of Asia, seemingly. Of course, that guy just happens to be an undercover cop who’s been betrayed and tossed into the same prison that Jaa is guarding. What luck! But wouldn’t you know it, the prison is actually a front for an organ-trafficking ring run by the warden. Meanwhile, the local gang kingpin is in need of a new heart and plans to murder his own brother in order to steal his. And it’s the same kingpin that the betrayed cop was after in the first place! The coincidences pile up one after the other and (needless to say) build to an action-packed finale. The ridiculous story is really just a melodramatic backdrop to the action set-pieces, and as such works just well enough. Tony Jaa is a true martial arts superstar, and his fight scenes crackle with raw intensity. There’s a bit too much of the “child in jeopardy” subplot for me, but overall this is a really solid action flick that holds up best when you don’t think about the plot too much.
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (2007) – Finally got around to seeing this goofy spoof of musical biopics, and I must say that I was a bit underwhelmed. Walk Hard has a reputation as being a pretty hilarious movie and I’ve heard just that from numerous friends. I thought it was okay, but certainly no great landmark in film comedy. John C. Reilly turns in a good performance as country music legend Dewey Cox, a character who seems loosely based on Johnny Cash. Reilly exudes a blank naivete throughout, delivering truly ridiculous dialogue without batting an eye. The film hits all the familiar biopic beats, so much so that at times it played more like a straight bio than a spoof of one. They try a little too hard to fit Cox into every musical genre that’s been popular since the 50s, and I thought his foray into Dylan-esque folk-rock was a particular snooze. Playing Cox’s longtime drummer, Tim Meadows steals most of the scenes he’s in, and I really loved the sequences when he’s trying to convince Cox “not” to try various drugs. “It’s not addictive! It makes sex even better!” Overall, I thought Walk Hard was a decent flick that just seemed to be trying a little too hard to check off all the biopic boxes.
Lady Bloodfight (2016) – There’s something to be said for truth in advertising. Well, what you see is what you get with Lady Bloodfight. Basically an all-female version of Bloodsport, the flick follows a super-tough American woman (Amy Johnston) who travels to Hong Kong to try and compete in an underground martial arts tournament called the Kumite. Yes, it’s the exact same tournament as in Bloodsport (well, the female version). I wasn’t expecting much from this flick, but it was actually a half-decent entry into the martial arts tournament genre. As written by Hong Kong film expert Logan Bey, the flick hits all its marks. There’s the underestimated American, the psychotic Russian, the high-kicking Brazilian, and the friendly, perky Asian girl who you know is doomed from the first time you see her. The tournament is set against a backdrop of a years-long rivalry between two former friends, each of whom grooms a new woman to fight in her stead. Why they waited until three months before the tournament to start training their proteges, when they had five years between tourneys, is an open question. And I must say that the reveal of who’s behind the whole scheme to make the women hate each other doesn’t make a lot of sense and kind of comes out of left field. Still, if you’re the kind of person who even considers watching a flick called Lady Bloodsport, you’re probably going to like it.
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