Oscar Robertson the Grouch

I didn’t see Oscar Robertson play live. I wasn’t born until he was past his prime, playing second fiddle to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in Milwaukee. By all accounts he was a fantastic player. He averaged a triple-double for a whole season, for crying out loud.

I have seen Robertson play, though. Every once in a while, when ESPN Classic runs out of welterweight fights from 2007 to replay, they actually show an old NBA game. A few of these have featured The Big O in action, and there are some clips available on YouTube for those who want to track them down. There he is, meandering around the court and controlling the action to a surprising degree, considering how slow-footed Robertson seems to have been.

I’ve watched a lot of basketball in my time and feel like I have a pretty good grasp of the sport. With that in mind, I’d like to offer my reasoned opinion that Oscar Robertson is a sour old grouch who would have no chance of guarding Stephen Curry if he were playing today.

Of course, this whole thing started last week when Oscar the Old Grouch decided for some reason to offer up his opinion that Curry’s not really all that great. Defenders should double-team him! That’s what we did in my day, consarnit! Or get right up in his face, that’ll stop him! Today’s NBA coaches don’t know the first thing about defense! In my day, we wore onions on our belts! We called turkeys “walking birds“!

Sadly, Oscar the Old Grouch doesn’t seem to have actually watched Curry play before offering up his half-baked old-timer analysis. Teams do try to double-team him, only to watch his pass out of it to a wide-open teammate. You see, Oscar, it’s suicidal to double-team Curry when that means you’re leaving the likes of Klay Thompson, Draymond Green or Harrison Barnes open. There are no weak links on the Warriors. When you leave someone in order to double Curry, you’re going to pay, because the other guys can all make shots.

Well, what about Oscar the Old Grouch’s other awesome defensive suggestion? Simply get right up next to Curry, so he won’t be able to shoot! Yeah, that’s been tried, too. If you get too close to Curry, he’ll simply dribble right around you for an easy layup or kick-out. He’s the best ball handler in the league, so you can’t actually try to body up on him. Curry whizzes right by defenders who try that.

The fact that Oscar the Old Grouch needs any of this explained to him is mind-boggling. No one who watches the Warriors comes away with the notion that Curry is overrated. The notion that he’s some sort of basketball Titan sent down on Earth to show mortals what real shooting is like? Maybe. Overrated? Hardly.

As for the laughable suggestion that today’s coaches don’t know anything about defense? In fact, coaches today know infinitely more schemes and methods than their 60s counterparts. Zone defense was against the rules in the 60s! The reason that the Spurs can’t stop Curry isn’t because Popovich doesn’t know anything about defense. It’s because it’s all but impossible to create a scheme to slow down a player who can consistently hit 35-foot jumpers and is surrounded by players who are almost as offensively skilled.

Oscar Robertson was a great player in his day. But the game that Robertson played bears very little resemblence to the game as it’s played today. Seriously, watch some old footage of The Big O in action, weaving through cigarette-smoking centers and slow-footed point guards. Oscar was considered quite a physical specimen in his day. He brought an athleticism to the game that overwhelmed a lot of his less-in-shape opposition. The problem is that what was considered a crazy athletic build in the 60s would be just another midsize guard in today’s NBA.

Try to seriously imagine Robertson guarding any of today’s modern point guards. Russell Westbrook, Chris Paul or John Wall would eat that guy alive. In fact, Robertson in his prime reminds me mostly of James Harden, as far as physical build and skill sets go. Don’t get me wrong. I’m positive that Robertson was a much better player than Harden. He passed the ball, for instance! But Harden’s not quick enough to stay with most of the guys he’s supposed to be guarding, and I’m pretty sure that would be the case with Robertson, too.

While it may be painful for some to admit, a good number of yesteryear’s NBA stars probably wouldn’t be able to cut it in today’s league. The athleticism, speed, size, exercise regimes and diets of modern players are miles past what they were in Oscar the Old Grouch’s day. That doesn’t diminish what they accomplished, but to suggest that teams of the 60s could shut down today’s Warriors is ludicrous.

Oscar should simply sit down, shut up, and try to comprehend what he’s watching. No one who understands today’s NBA thinks for one second that double-teams or face-guarding are going to stop Stephen Curry. Even if some cranky old man says so!