As the NFL season sputters through its last few soul-crushing weekends, congratulations to the Los Angeles Rams and Chargers. They’ve successfully proven that a city can have two decent NFL squads and yet generate absolutely no buzz. That sound you hear is the city sleeping. . . Of course, it’s hard to focus on football in L.A., what with the spectacular ascension of Lonzo Ball into the pantheon of rookie greats. Oh wait, he actually kinda sucks. . . 
Magic Johnson better not watch any footage of Utah rookie point guard Donovan Mitchell or he’s liable to break down in sobs. Mitchell looks the part much more than the ballyhooed Baller, a fearless and rock-solid player who puts me in the mind of Damian Lillard. . . Speaking of Balls, I guess playing in the Lithuanian league is now considered the equivalent of home schooling? . . . As a San Francisco Giants diehard, I followed the inane Giancarlo Stanton saga to its inevitable conclusion: nothing for the Giants, more star power to the Yankees. I think good-hearted baseball fans can pretty much all agree on one thing–Stanton and Derek Jeter can go fuck themselves. . . Also a bit perplexed by the Ohtani decision, although choosing to play for the Angels over all other teams DOES prove that he’s not from around here. . . Back to the NBA: Looks like Chris Paul’s been able to fit into the Rockets scheme, after all. They’re rolling along at a torrid pace, and look like a legit challenger to the Dubs. . . Meanwhile, the Warriors look very much like a team that’s played 100 games a season for years, and only seem to wake up for stretches of games. I assume their intensity will return for the playoffs, but that number-one seed looks like it may be up for grabs. . . Speaking of exhausted players, can someone please tell Tom Thibodeau that he is allowed to use his bench? The Timberwolves are one of the league’s worst fourth-quarter teams, and I posit that the reason is that Thibs NEVER RESTS HIS STARTERS. Of course they falter down the stretch, most of them play the entire fourth quarter. Against the 76ers on Tuesday, Karl-Anthony Towns never sat down after the 3 minute mark of the third quarter. In an overtime game! 
Thibs seems intent on wearing his guys down just like he did on the Bulls. Ask Derrick Rose and Luol Deng how all those minutes helped them. . . Alright, I’ve got to get back to doing meth and binging women’s college volleyball on my new 4K HDTV. See you next time, everybody!
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