Hello again everybody, this is Paps Papwell, your go-to guy for the hottest of hot sports takes. I’m hell-bent on resurrecting the three-dot journalism style formerly practiced by beloved San Francisco columnist Herb Caen and despised USA Today columnist Larry King. . . Let’s start this week with the 
NBA Finals, which are are once again reaffirming my long-held conviction that LeBron James is an overrated snooze. Going 2-5 in Finals appearances doesn’t make you the Chosen One, it makes you the Chokin’ One (TM) . . . LeBron resists any offensive scheme that doesn’t involve non-stop isolation sets—to the point of running off coaches who try and make him play team ball. Too bad, because David Blatt proved he could actually make good adjustments during the Finals last year. . .Kyrie Irving plays worse defense than Kylie Minogue. . .Great to see the Copa America being held in the U.S. But as for American soccer, until MLS embraces promotion and relegation, it will always be a Mickey Mouse league to me. . . Speaking of soccer, Cristiano Ronaldo 
can go fuck himself. . . Hunter Pence’s hamstring injury is going to hurt the Giants, but I’m not too worried because the Dodgers are overpaid garbage. . . I know this isn’t the most popular choice, but my favorite song to get a sports crowd going is Sade’s “By Your Side”. . . Has Charles Barkley ever appeared on an episode of Inside the NBA sober?. . . Fun fact: Derek Jeter’s real first name is Dingus. . . Can’t wait to 
see the new Bravo miniseries starring Idris Elba as NBA journeyman Tree Rollins. Five nights of fun! . . . Pretty sure I couldn’t name 5 NHL players if my life depended on it. . .Don’t have the cash to buy Gatorade? Make your own: Just mix 3 parts water with 1 part Lipton’s Onion Soup Mix. . .Watching Steve Kerr smash his clipboard during a timeout reminded me of Liam Neeson in Taken—they were wearing very similar shirts. . .Is there anything more satisfying than pushing a romantic rival down a flight of stairs?. . .Congrats to Novak Djokovic on winning his fourth straight Grand Slam title. Still, you have to wonder how he would have fared in the era of Andre the Giant and The Iron Sheik. . .Never met the man, but I have a feeling that Giants’ manager Bruce Bochy 
smells like Aqua Velva. . . Spotted on Ximeno Ave.: Olympic downhill skiing champ Franz Klammer, sporting a flashy yellow blazer and screaming obscenities at passing cars. . .Is there anything in sports as exciting as the back nine on an LPGA Sunday? If so, I haven’t discovered it. . . Finally, a fascinating little tidbit from the world of TV! That’s none other than NBA legend Karl Malone under all that make-up, playing the character of Cersei Lannister on HBO’s Game of Thrones. Who knew?
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