Earlier this month, Xi Jinping pulled off a pretty nifty trick. He got himself installed as leader for life in China, which is only the world’s biggest country.
For me, this momentous turn of events prompted memories of the fun but sometimes frustrating year I spent in the Middle Kingdom, working for the media arm of the Chinese government as a foreign language expert. It was 2009, and China was basking in the afterglow of the giant coming-out party that was the 2008 Summer Olympics. At that time, the nation was ruled at the top by two supremely competent but rather indistinguishable men: President Hu Jintao and Premier Wen Jiabao.
We take you now to a crowded restaurant in downtown Beijing in the waning days of the Bush era, where yours truly is trying to put America in the best possible light while meeting my new bosses. I thought I’d start by learning a little about their government.
Me: Who’s the president of China? 
Chinese Boss: Yes
Me: I mean the fellow’s name … the name of the president.
Chinese Boss: Hu.
Me: The president!
Chinese Boss: Hu is the president.
Me: Excuse me, but why are you asking me to name the president of your own country?
Chinese Boss: I’m not asking you, I’m telling you – Hu is the president.
Me: (pausing for the first time) Let’s forget the president for a minute. What’s the name of China’s premier?
Chinese Boss: Wen.
Me: Right now.
Chinese Boss: Wen.
Me: (dangerously close to exasperation) All right, let’s try a different approach. When the premier signed his first document today, what name did he sign?
Chinese Boss: Wen.
Me: Whenever he signed it — when doesn’t matter.
Chinese Boss: He matters a great deal … he’s the premier.
Me: Who’s the premier?
Chinese Boss: No, I told you, Hu’s the president.
At this point I stopped and let out an audible sigh. I was loathe to offend my hosts by pressing on, but what choice did I have – I couldn’t let them think I was slow-witted.
Me: (a little more tentative now) All right, one more time – please just tell me the name of the premier.
Chinese Boss: Certainly. Wen is the premier. 
Me: Wen is the premier of what?
Chinese Boss: Of China.
Me: Who is the premier of China?
Chinese Boss: No, he’s the president. Wen is the premier.
Me: Wen is the premier doing what?
Chinese Boss: Quite a lot, actually. It’s an important job.
This went on for several more minutes before my hosts gave up on me as it was time for lunch.
The rest of my stay proceeded with little incident as I strived gamely to fit in at the office . . .until the day my employment and residency status were both abruptly terminated over a regrettable incident involving the precise Mandarin translation of “That’s what she said.’’
But that’s a story for another day.
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