In our recent piece Mages Unite for Gender Equity, we reported on a movement among magic users to discourage the use of the popular phrase “colder than a witch’s tit.” Spearheaded by the group Mages United for Gender Equity in Meaningless Idioms and Catchphrases (or MUGEMIC), the movement sought to replace the phrase with something less sexist and pejorative. MUGEMIC settled on the phrase “warmer than a warlock’s teat” as a potential new idiom.
Since the initial publication of our article, the story has taken on a life of its own. Witches and warlocks have come down on all sides of the issue. Some support the new phrase, others have proposed new idioms of their own, while some are perfectly content sticking with the “witch’s tit” phrasing. As Boston mage Wendy Whodini put it in a widely-quoted commencement speech at Yale University, “I’d rather the public was talking about witches’ tits than not talking about witches at all!”
The controversy has spilled into social media, newspaper thought pieces and op-eds in magazines ranging from U.S. News and World Report to Vanity Fair. #Witchstitgate, as it has been tagged, has become one of the hottest topics in the world of magic users. Because Popwell was one of the first to break the story, we felt now was a good time to revisit the controversy.
The main opposition to MUGEMIC has come from a group led by the aforementioned Whodini. Her group, Witches and Warlocks Heated About Terminology (or W-WHAT), wants to keep using the phrase as it’s always been used. As Whodini explains, they feel that “this whole controversy was ginned up by a group of publicity-hungry mages who do not represent the mainstream of magical opinion. We strongly feel that as long as no witches or breasts are being harmed, there is no reason to stop using this popular idiom.”
Whodini disputes the very notion that “colder than a witch’s tit” is, in fact, sexist or disparaging. “We here at W-WHAT feel that the term speaks to the strength of witches throughout the world. The public’s association of bitingly cold temperatures and witches’ breasts points to the toughness and resilience of female magic users. If a witch can survive breasts which exude sub-zero temperatures, is there anything that she won’t be able to withstand?”
Not content to stand idly by while the topic is debated in darkened cloak rooms and basement covens, a third group has jumped into the fray. This group, Witches in Constant Consultation About Nonsense (or WICCAN), agrees with the need for a new term, but doesn’t like the solution proposed by MUGEMIC.
” ‘Warmer than a warlock’s teat’ doesn’t even make sense,” claims WICCAN spokesmage Elliott Goulding. “The original phrase was meant to apply to cold temperatures, so why replace it with something referring to warmer climes? We feel that any of our proposed phrases is far more appropriate—and sound better, too!” Among WICCAN’s suggested phrases are “Colder than a necromancer’s scrotum” and “Chillier than a conjurer’s codpiece.” He promises that an on-line vote to choose the best candidate is in the offing.
Goulding is calling for all of the various groups to come together and hash out their differences. “We feel that the world of witches, warlocks and magicians is a big enough tent to embrace all viewpoints. By coming together as a group, we feel that a consensus can be reached. We also strongly support having the meeting catered by Niko’s Greek Cafe, located at the corner of 5th Street and Columbus Avenue.”
Popwell will continue to monitor the controversy and will report on any future developments as they occur. Gyros!
I feel like next you should talk about the controversy surrounding the phrase, “sorer than an altar boy’s anus”.