Paps Papwell’s Three-Dot Hot Takes

The MLB regular season is just about over, so maybe we can all take a break from watching juiced balls sail over the fences and settle in to watch some actual good baseball. . . Needless to say, my Giants won’t be anywhere to be seen after compiling the worst record in the majors. Would it be too much to ask to sign an outfielder who’s not in the twilight of his career? Or a reliever whose nickname isn’t “Gas Can”? . . . My fearless MLB Postseason predictions: Indians vs. Nationals in the World Series, in a match-up that literally no one is clamoring to see. Indians win in 6, then everyone gets justifiably mad when Chief Wahoo leads the victory parade. . . My pick for AL MVP is a no-brainer, it’s the Angels’ Mike Trout. My NL pick might cause a bit more controversy. I’m going with the Cubs’ Andre Dawson and his outstanding 1987 season. . . It’s been a couple of weeks, but I didn’t want to miss a chance to congratulate Organized Crime for pulling off that daring draw in the Golovkin-Alvarez fight. Every bettor loses, every casino wins, perfect set-up for a bigger-money rematch. Well played, guys! . . . All of this tumult and controversy about athletes kneeling for the national anthem is really missing the larger point: Donald Trump is a shithead. . . It does look like the NFL’s ongoing attempts to conflate itself with patriotism, the military and apple pie are finally blowing up in its face. That said, I do find it extremely hard to believe that the rubes who populate states like Alabama and Mississippi are going to actually boycott the league for any amount of time. Watching NASCAR’s just not the same as watching young black men get their brains scrambled, after all. . . Insiders tell me that the NFL is working on installing animatronic Pat Tillmans at every stadium. The lifelike androids will stand near the main entryways mouthing patriotic blather, saluting, and offering 20% off jerseys in the team store. . . Once again, Los Angeles has proven to be on the cutting edge of U.S. culture. They’ve been boycotting Rams and Chargers games since Week One, before this controversy even flared up! . . . NBA training camps opened up this week, which means it’s only eight months until the Warriors play the Cavs in the Finals. . . It also means we’re only a few short weeks away from watching Lonzo Ball get destroyed by every point guard in the Western Conference. Lavar’s sad-eyed, personality-free son is quite a force when running an offense, but he had a hard time guarding point guards from the likes of Oregon State and UC Davis. Something tells me he won’t find Russell Westbrook or Stephen Curry any easier to handle. . . After a summer of wheeling and dealing, does anyone think that the Celtics are actually any better than they were last year? . . . I could watch golf on TV all day, if given a choice between that or spending an hour chatting with Joe Buck . . . News came across the wire today that Louisville head coach Rick Pitino was fired, due to one scandal too many. I must say, if having sex with groupies on tables at Italian restaurants and paying for hooker parties in the basketball dorm doesn’t get you fired, I’m not sure why a simple payout to a sleazy shoe company rep does. I’m hoping that Pitino grows a dodgy moustache and shows up as a cast member on the second season of The Deuce. . . So it looks like the NHL is planning to have another season, too. Good for them! . . . I’ll end today with a little science tidbit that I just discovered. Most folks are aware that water swirls in a different direction in the Southern Hemisphere. But did you know that if you’re directly on the equator, water hovers in the air? Strange but true!